Blogs – NERDSPRESSO

Disney World Turns 50

or “How I Got Ahead(Wound) in Show Business!”

Disney World in Orlando, Florida celebrated a milestone on October 1, 2021 when it commemorated 50 years since it’s opening day. Because no one asked, here’s my contribution to the discussion.

In 1991, I had just graduated college and I was back in Orlando, trying to jump start a career in film and TV. This is when everyone was calling O-Town “Hollywood East.” Disney and Universal were hosting productions like “The New Leave it to Beaver,” “Superboy” and “Swamp Thing.” With my newly minted Creative Writing degree, I was ready to join the Dream Factory.

Who knew you just didn’t answer a “Help Wanted” ad for screenwriters? I made a lot of phone calls, sent out a lot of resumes and did a lot of whining. Then my friend’s dad, who was an executive at WDW, got me a production assistant gig. It was a TV special for Disney World’s 20th birthday.

Here it was! My big break! I showed up bright and early to the production trailer at the backlot of Disney-MGM (now Hollywood) Studios for my first day in the “biz.” They gave me a lanyard and keys to a minivan and told me to pick up the producer at his hotel.

Next stop…Hollywood!

The production was on a tight schedule so we production assistants interpreted that as permission to do everything at breakneck speed. I must confess that driving a minivan at 80 MPH on Disney property was exhilarating.

I reached the hotel in no time and dashed to the revolving door. Here’s where I compliment Disney’s attention to detail. The glass on that door was so spotless (and I was in such a hurry), I couldn’t tell that it hadn’t revolved fully to the lobby and walked hard into it.

SMACK!

I stumbled out of the door, dazed and embarrassed. I steadied myself and put my hand to my head. Pulling it back, I saw my hand was covered in blood. I made it to the front desk and asked the concierge for a little help.

They went into full triage mode and soon I was laying on a couch in the lobby with an ice pack, waiting on an ambulance. The producer eventually found me and asked, “You the PA?”

I nodded, my vision clouded by the the pain. “You got the keys?” he requested as I awkwardly handed them over. I watched my big dreams leave with that producer.

I cursed my luck on the ambulance ride to Disney’s secret field hospital. I wouldn’t even be a footnote in the script about Disney’s legacy. The doctor stitched me up and recommended I get some rest. I just knew if I went home, I could wave goodbye to my new career.

I told the doc I needed to go back to work. He said it was up to me, but it would be uncomfortable. No one said the road to stardom would be easy.

I called the production office. They told me I could go home but I insisted. After a speedy minivan ride, I was back on the set, assisting with filming a lavish parade.

It was a long shoot. We finished late that night and had an early call the next morning. I was very tired and my head was spinning. Who knows if it was from my head injury or the buzz of working on a major TV production.

I spent a glorious week on that TV show. I spoke on the phone to the writer in LA asking him to fax over the new pages (Bette Midler wanted funnier jokes). I picked up shoes for Siskel and Ebert, a sandwich for Rick Moranis, and snacks for Amy Grant. I guarded Garth Brooks’ trailer.

This was the apex of celebrity at the dawn of the last decade of the 20th century. We did Disney World’s big birthday right. The producers gave me props for my dedication. They affectionately called me “Doorman” for the rest of the production. No one else got a cool nickname.

So Happy 50th Birthday, Walt Disney World! There’s been a lot of changes in the 30 years since that TV special, but you’re still the happiest place on earth.

Especially for young people with big dreams, lead feet and no depth perception.

Check out the product of my illustrious start in the TV biz here!

We all get the Keanu we deserve.

Keanu Reeves is surfing the zeitgeist in a major way these days. I hadn’t paid much attention to the guy beyond his occasional action movie success (Point Break, Speed) but recently he’s ascended to the level of a pop culture deity. Don’t get me wrong. I really like the guy. But I think this recent adoration is not coming from his acting.

My theory is Keanu’s ascendance is the result of nostalgia for our youth combined with the fact that he’s just a really decent dude. Think about it. He came on the scene when a good bunch of us were in high school. We grew up with him. Keanu was that goofy stoner that said dumb stuff in class who got his act together and became a cop (excuse me, F-B-I AGENT!) in his twenties. And he could surf.

As we aged into our thirties, Keanu matured into the champion of public transportation and then the nerd messiah of the internet. His turn as Neo, premiering at the eve of the new millennium, helped address our growing techno woes. For example, every time we were bored at work, we could now ask ourselves if it was really just a glitch in the Matrix. Now as we all stare down middle age, here comes John Wick proving that we can still kick ass after 50.

And he really loves his dog.

Basically, Keanu is a reflection of our lives on film. He reminds us of good times and younger days, but also that we aren’t too old to take care of business. Our admiration comes wrapped in what he represents, which is 30 years of our collective life experience. We were watching his movies while our lives happened. His movies have seeped into our brains to help trigger one long sense memory. The nostalgia and affection are intertwined. He’s our cinematic wingman.

Plus, in this day of constant information, we know more about this guy than some of our own family. Here he is entertaining passengers on a delayed plane flight. That’s him smiling with the happy couple when he accidentally crashes their hotel wedding reception. And did we just learn that he’s been secretly donating to children’s hospitals? See that cell phone photo of him giving up his seat on the subway?

Keanu acts the way we want our celebrities to really be in the real world: kind, generous and humble. Whether it’s true or just public relations, who knows? Keanu is a hero for our time. Real or imagined, the thought of him cuddling puppies is just comforting. In an age when famous people continue to disappoint us and everyone just seems so darn disagreeable, it feels nice to think that there’s someone out there kinder than the rest of us.

And he knows kung fu.

From a certain point of view

They say there are three sides to every story: yours, mine and the truth. Well, there’s also several ways to watch the same movie if you look at it from the point of view of the different characters.

Let’s try something. Think of your favorite movie. Then latch onto a character in the flick, but not the one driving the story.

Think Happy Hogan, not Tony Stark. Biggs Darklighter, not Luke Skywalker. Kit De Luca, not Vivian Ward.

I know, I know. I lose major man points for referencing Pretty Woman, but cut me some slack. It’s like a modern day fairy tale, just with call girls.

Plus, I get so giddy when Rich Guy slams that box on her hand and she gives us that million dollar smile (along with that 100 decibel laugh).

Here’s a few movies told from the POV of a supporting character for your reading pleasure. Name the movie and the character in the comments section below. If you get them all right, you win the prize of knowing you got them all right.

And. Here. We. Go.

I was a cook for this underwater lab where these scientists were trying to grow bigger brains in sharks to cure diseases and stuff. Bad idea.

I lived next door to this hot cellist in NYC and then I got possessed by this demon thing who gave me some master keys. These guys in jumpsuits found me and put a colander on my head but then I got to make out with the cellist and turn into a dog.

My neighbors forgot their kid at home when they left for vacation. He got into some mischief and I had to take care of business.

I’m a police shrink and I have a detective that’s hardcore and just freaking nuts (professional diagnosis). They’re going to partner him with this reliable guy who is about to retire. This should go well.

I’m the deputy of this small island town and we have a giant shark eating the beach goers. My boss wants me to close the beaches, but our sharp dressed mayor wants them open for July 4. I was promised extra help, but all we got was this nerdy scientist guy and a cranky fisherman.

My dad was president during an alien invasion. He made a big speech. It rhymed.

How’d you do? I’m sure you crushed it. This is really fun, right? Now create some of your own and share them with me. I can’t wait to read them.

Come on, give it a shot. All the cool kids are doing it. Once you start, you can’t stop.

Okay, here’s one more for that post-credits scene.

My daughter and her kids just moved in with me after her divorce. That’s okay, but their little friends trashed my house. And, apparently, they’re all damn vampires.

Let me see what you can do. Cowabunga!